Mad Magazine's Frank Jacobs rewrote the lyrics to Hello Dolly and came up with this. There are no recorded versions on YouTube, so I did this one myself. (The music is from a Karaoke version on YouTube, which I have to give credit here.)
Hello, Deli, This is Joe, Deli, Would you please send up a nice corned beef on rye? A box of Ritz, Deli, And some Schlitz*, Deli, Some chopped liver and a sliver of your apple pie! Turkey legs, Deli, Hard-boiled eggs, Deli, And a plate of those potatoes you french fry, oh-- Don't be late, Deli, I just can't wait, Deli, Deli? Hello, hello? The connection's back, Deli Did you get that right, Deli? Have you got all that I ordered up till now? Oh, don't be late, Deli, I just can't wait, Deli, Deli without breakfast, I'd just die!
*Schlitz was a beer brewed in Milwaukee until 1982. The name was reused later by Pabst, but they stopped again in 2026. If you don't know Ritz crackers, you should watch Harrison Ford in the 1991 film Regarding Henry.